Last night

Last night I couldn’t sleep don’t know what it was just woke up with a bad chest pain on my left side, of course you start to think Heart attack. I was getting angry at my wife for telling me to lets go to the doctor, I just wanted to be left alone I was so uncomfortable I was just moving my left arm around in circle to make it go away. It wasn’t like a sharp pain it was more like a soreness, just bothering me. I still have some soreness on my left arm, but if my wife wants me to go check it out I will.
I was so proud of myself for walking last night; I actually kept up with my wife if you know how she walks she walks pretty fast. We did 2 miles non stop, and then we went to get healthy groceries, watching all calories, carbs, & aspartame in drinks. I felt good till I was fast asleep last night; when I was awaken by this uncomfortable feeling. My calves were all tightening up for some reason I think they were just sore. I started praying like crazy to make this feeling go away, I was the one that woke my wife up telling her my chest hurt, and then I am getting mad at her sorry baby, I Love You. She even got dressed, & went to the store to get me some aspirin or some Bayer, I just know my wife was giving them to me & I was to take them. I didn’t even stop to think about her & the kids, I was being selfish. You as a person have an impact on many lives & don’t even know it. I don’t know what my wife would do without me, of course in getting her life back together, but I wouldn’t want to leave her so unprepared. I know she is strong, & will find a way, but I still need to think more about her, & stop being so selfish. I love my boys, & I know they know I love them, but my wife I have to show her more that I love her, not just saying it. Love is an action, we have to show it. I fall so short in this if you could pray for me to show her how much I love her, & not take her for granted like I always do. And about dying, I am not afraid, I know where I will spend eternity, but I am afraid of how I will leave my family behind. We will see how this goes or what happens.