messing around with my blog

I deleted some stuff but not on purpose, it was an accident, OOooops, thats what happens when i star messing around with stuff

Been A While for Me

Haven't posted in a while, I've been so busy, lots of things going on in my life. My spiritual life has been at an all time low, due to me letting circumstances get in the way.
I struggle just as any man or woman does, i am not perfect by any means.
My best friend not being in church, my son not wanting to see me, my fiends that i thought were friends take things the wrong way, & it just gets all messy. Then of course i get in the flesh, & make things even worse, all i can do is pray, when i can get through. Revival started today at church it started great, Lord really dealt with my heart, I just had to swallow my pride, & make things right, turns out. I am the one holding out to stuff, everyone has gone past this junk , I was just dwelling on things that have no importance, or that are done with, gotten over. I want to make things right, by no means am i a compromiser, I know what I stand for, but I also know when the flesh has overtaken the situation and my eyes are so far from Christ, my Beloved. I preached on being religious this morning, I preached more to myself this morning in Sunday School. I just really want to serve God, but my flesh is always in the way, trials come, & i sink with them, I have gotten my eyes on other people instead of the Giants in suppose to be fighting. I have to be more of a testimony, I am excited of what GOD is going to do, but at the same time stand guard for the attacks. I love my teens, I pray to GOD i can have some kind of a good effect in their christian walk in their lives, Keep me in your prayer for the Lords will, i really need it. Just Rambling on,
Laters

Heart Broken

Today about 10PM, after coming back from fellowship from Texas Roadhouse, as my wife , & I were talking she got a text from her sis in law. She was asking if it was alright if Averie could call me because she was crying for me. You see my little niece has been in my life for a while it gets complicated at times, but I have learned to love her as my own. I just didn't realize how much I loved that little girl.

We have this bond when we see each other for some reason we put each others hands on each others face, I see how big my hand is against her little face, it makes me just want to squeeze her. She puts her hand against my big face, she can only cover my nose only. Then she just smiles. You see God hasn't given us a little girl, i say because God doesn't give us what we cant handle. See at times I was the threat, she would get, I would be the one they would say, "if you don't behave I will tell Tio Juan". She had a fear for me that turned into love, i have never laid hands on this little girl, but she was always afraid if i would someday. I think it would break my heart if I did.

Well she has moved to Oklahoma City, Oklahoma to be with her dad, which is wonderful, she has her family. I just didn't know how much it would break my heart, or miss her so much, as I type, there is this huge knot in my throat. Well she call me, & i answer the phone thinking i can be tough Tio Juan, but this little voice on the other end is going hysterical saying ,"I love you Tio Juan, I love you." It just melted my heart away, i start crying, not wanting my boys to see my like this, I stay outside, I keep telling her I love her, she tells me she misses me, she misses her Tia DeeDee, she misses Johnny, misses Mikey, she misses David. I just keep crying trying to not let her notice I am crying,"Just keep telling her you love her," i tell myself. Well we hang up I walk a little bit around out side with this huge knot in my throat, then i make my way inside. I sit on the couch looking at the ceiling, my wife asks if I'm alright, I tell her, "She's gonna forget me".

I try to keep myself from breaking down, then my wife tells me she is gonna call me again, because I told her she could call me whenever she wanted too. So she calls again, all crying, so I start crying this time just like her I couldn't stop, She starts telling me she loves us all, she starts naming one by one. She also tells me If I could got to Oklahoma to go see her, I mean how can I tell her no. So I promised her I would go see her, she is also telling me she will behave at school, so I can go see her. She is telling me we will have lots of fun, I am just balling by know, i didn't care who heard me I just told her I loved her. I started thinking, man I am heart broken, I love this little girl, & I can't have her or see her anymore, but I WILL pray for her, I feel I lost her, & crazy thing is she is not even my daughter. I can't handle little girls breaking my heart, as tough as I want to be around them, I think they know they melt my heart, I love all my nieces.

After we hung up I just had to come , & blog, because maybe someday when she gets older, & she has forgotten me, she can read this, & know how much her Tio Juan loves her, and how close we were.

SUNDAY SCHOOL TEENAGERS 5/9/10

ACTS CHAPTER 3 VS 1- 5

Now this was after Pentecost, so cool I feel we were at Pentecost this past week.

1. Verse 1- Now Peter and John went up together into the temple at the hour of prayer, being the ninth hour. = Peter & John were together, Gods people need to be together, come together to church. The Ninth hour 3 o'clock in the afternoon.
   
2. Verse 2- And a certain man lame from his mother's womb was carried, whom they laid daily at the gate of the temple called Beautiful, to ask alms of them that entered into the temple. = this crippled man was carried to the gate of the church, they knew where he could get help. He was begging from the Christians.
3. verse 3 - Who seeing Peter and John about to go into the temple asked an alms. = He saw Peter & John he recognized them, alms= mercy or pity, he begged.
4. verse 4 - And Peter, fastening his eyes upon him with John said, Look on us. = Peter making eye contact, not ignoring him.
5. verse 5 - And he gave heed unto them, expecting to receive something of them. = He payed attention to them, he might have even gotten a hold of their clothing as he is listening.

Peter & John went into the temple to pray in the afternoon at 3 o'clock, & saw a lame beggar. In the years past, handicap people often became beggars. The lame man had probably heard about Jesus' miracles, for in a visit to Jerusalem, Jesus healed a man blind from birth (Mark 10:51), which may have planted a seed of hope in the beggars heart.

Smote in the Heart

Today after work I went to fuel up the big truck I use for work, I was in a hurry due to my little David had a t-ball game. After I finished fueling of course the machine says the cashier has receipt. Grrr, there i go inside to get a receipt, when I am in line, there is this young man, buying a lot of munchies, junk food. Of course i start thinking inside myself, as I stare at the back of his head with tattoos, his side burns are also tattoos. I am thinking to myself this guy will never be a working part of society. I started thinking next thing you know he is going to pay with his Lone-Star Card, the food stamp card. When he surely does bust out the card to pay, when all of a sudden the Holy Ghost convicted me of being so critical, we sometimes are so critical aren't we, or maybe its just me.

Holy Spirit smote my heart so bad I got all teary eyed. If my brother in law would have been so critical I wouldn't have gotten saved. I needed compassion, Holy Spirit was putting in my heart to give him a tract, but I didn't have one, so that really broke my heart so bad, I got my receipt. Went to my truck as fast as I could, when I got on tears were coming down my eyes, when I cried to Jesus to take that critical spirit away from me, Forgive ME I cried today, I asked Lord to give me some more compassion for the lost. I cried out for forgiveness, I will have to answer for that young man one day, his blood will be on my hands. I fail, I fall so short, I Know Jesus forgives, so i thought i would share, & ask for prayer for more compassion in my heart

Just Me

Last night as I was just wondering about me, Who am I? was the question in my head. As revival fire is breaking out in the valley, getting a touch of God. I was," Like man I am rubbing elbows with great men of God", like so many times before, but Who Am I? As I was leaving the meeting with things, Ideas, conviction, eye openers, on my mind. I got home talked alone to my beautiful wife, just talked you know, hadn't done that in a while, you know just really talked. I was seeing the people around me at the meeting, that was my mistake looking at people. I would ask the Lord to help me within, and HE did. Seeing people acting the way they act in front of people, I just laid back just being myself, just spying out the crowd. Enjoying what a work God has done, remembering the places I used to be in, now I'm in the house of God most of the time Praise His Holy name. I have watched my pastor, & how he handles things, I think to myself how in the world does he do that, I have a great man of God leading me, & I can learn alot from him. I may not be the most loud one at the meetings, I may not be the one who everyone knows, that's just me. For most of my Christian life I have been the behind the scene kind of guy, & I like it. I don't want to hog up the man of God, I want to soak in everything he says, but I want other people to enjoy the same fellowship I can. I can see people hanging out with people that are not helping them in their Christian walk, but what can I do just sit back & let it happen, No Way, like Bro. Harrison said an Intercessor, Intercede on the behalf of others. Pray for them, I am by no means perfect so if you can't find anyone to pray for, pray for me, I fall so short of the Glory. Like I said rubbing elbows with great men of God, but yet still think nothing of themselves, so humble, so down to earth, yet so heavenly. Just think of themselves as a nobody.

That's when it hit me I am a nobody, so stop thinking anything else of yourself. That's who I am, That's Just me, that's they way I will be. Lord can do what HE wants with me. I started thinking of other men in the church house, that could use some encouragement, so that is what I will do LORD encourage the brethren to go on. Tonight might be the last night of revival so I don't want to quench any part of it. That's Just Me, that's who I am, patiently waiting as God molds me into the man of God I need to be. I have made plenty of mistakes, & I'm not going to lie I will make more that's Just Me.

If you only knew.......

If you only knew, what HE did for me.

You would understand why I serve HIM with a passion.
If you only knew, Where I came from.
You would see my heart melt for Christ.
If you only knew, What flesh, & spiritual struggles I have.
You would see where I'm coming from.
If you only knew, How I miss my friend.
You would know how lonely I feel.
If you only knew, How I love you?
You would understand why I say the things I do.
If you only knew, How hard it is to live the Christian walk I have.
My testimony, no compromise, Compassion yes, some rebuke, what to do.
If you only knew, How this world looks at you.
Can they see Christ in you.
If you only knew, How I defended you.
I take being called a liberal, but does it get to you.
If you only knew, When I stand up for Christ.
I take being called legalistic, God Squad. Most Liberals use that term.
If you only knew, How I wish you would serve HIM.
But I am no Holy Spirit to your free will.
If you only knew, How I pray for you?
Would you tell me to stop, or keep going.
If you only knew, I only wish to be a blessing.
To help in whatever I can.
If you only knew, How I desire to grow in the LORD.
I need all the schooling I can get.
If you only knew, I get my hands in whatever I can.
Because someday may come when I could use that experience.
If you only knew, how much I want to preach.
That is what I am called for.
If you only knew, why I sacrifice.
Because HE died for me.
If you only knew, How much my family loves me.
They show it to me all the time.
If you only knew, I am a nice guy.
My wife says let them see what I see.
If you only knew, How much help I need.
You would be asking what you could help with.
If you only knew, How much I love my pastor.
You would understand why I'm so passionate about the things of church.
If you only knew, Christ died for you.
Till you understand that with your heart, till then.
If you only knew, you need heart knowledge, not head knowledge.
You might surrender all.
If you only knew.
IF YOU ONLY KNEW.

R.C. Air SHow

We went as a group to the R.C. Air Show in Weslaco, Tx Left to Right, Johnny Deleon. Luke Laiklam, Toby Reyes, Anthony Mendez, Michael Deleon, Alicia Mendez, & David Deleon, Bro. Wally is behind Alicia.

Bro. Walter Mendez

David Deleon how could I tell this face he couldn't go with us.

SInging

Bro. Tim Rupard & Sis. Alisha Rupard singing with Sis. Skyla Gwyn at Harvest Baptist Church. I miss that man of God.

Questions you should ask Yourself?

Perhaps we should ask ourselves some question about our Christian walk.

• If I know Jesus do I show it?
• Would it be hard for me to prove to other that I know Jesus?
• Do I ever read the Bible God's Holy Word when I'm not in church?
• Do I ever thank my Lord Jesus for saving my soul?
• Do I only pray when I am in trouble?

If there is no evidence that I know God, or that I love God's people, I may need to examine my relationship with God.

Fishing or Church?

A christian was asked by a friend to go fishing with him on Sunday. This man answered, " I am unable to go on Sunday it is the Lords day; I go to church. But I would love to go with you any other day, but not Sunday."

His friend asked him another question, "Do you really go to church every Sunday?"

This Christian answered, " Yes I sure do, every Sunday, as a matter of fact I also go Sunday night, and Wednesday night also. You see these people at my church are like my family. I love them, I want to be with them. They mean a lot to me."

The new converts in Jerusalem were like that, they loved God, & Gods people, & loved to be around them. This was a wonderful part of being a Christian. When other see, when the world sees God's people happy, joyful, & excited, this often whets their appetite for Jesus. It would be hard to prove that you & I love God's people, if we have any excuse to stay away from the one place where God's people are. And that is of course AT CHURCH.

Acts 2 : Vs 44 - 46 Love for God's People SS 01/31/10

Vs 44 And all the believed were together, and had all things common;, Vs 45 And sold their their possessions and goods, and parted them to all men, as every man had need.

Believers were so knit together, they "had all things common." Can that be said about you or your church have all things common, everyone gets along. First of all it says all that believed were together, do you believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, Have you trusted HIM as your personal Saviour? Has there been a time in your life when you saw yourself as a sinner on your way to Hell. If you cant remember that conviction you need to check up, If you cant remember the Holy Ghost having conviction on you, then check up. There has to be a point in your life, when you believed Jesus is the Son of God that, Jesus is God. He went to Calvary for you and I, have you believed.

Believers were so knit together, they "had all things common." They sold their possessions and gave the money to those in need. They sold their belonging, & their properties or lands that they had, & divided among the bretheren those that had a need.Their giving was testimony to God's love. For their sharing possessions was voluntary, not compulsory. No one was forced, or pressured to give.

Verse 46 And they, continuing daily with one accord in the temple, & breaking bread from house to house, did eat their meat with gladness and singleness of heart, verse 47 Praising God, & having favour with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved.

Daily, the believers met, going to the Temple they were at church everyday, during revival meetings, missions conference, where are you believer , sharing meals, always having fellowships. We baptist like to fellowship alot, not party, fellowship. Do you get along with all the bretheren show Gods Love. Sharing meals from house to house, enjoying fellowship, and praising God. When was the last time you praised HIM? Everyone saw how happy, and joyful they were, which gave them favor with those not in church. We need to be happy about our salvation about being in church, if we are not happy about those things why would the lost want to come to church. This gave them opportunities to witness. We always have opportunities to witness, Question is do we do it?. The result for the believers doing this, the LORD added daily to the church, those that were saved, we have failed miserably. When was the last time we invited someone to church, some one we know, Why don't we want them to get saved, have we stopped praying. Have we ever wept for a soul, poured out our heart to God?